It's July! I find it hard to believe that I'll be leaving Korea in less than a month. I've had some really tough times here, but I've also been very happy. When I arrived, I had been depressed for months. This place brought me out of a dark time. As cliche as it sounds, I found myself again.
This week is my last week of regular classes; I start summer camp next week. I've been saying a lot of goodbyes, and each time I'm surprised how emotional I get. The first time, my coteacher asked me to give a goodbye speech to a class of second-year boys. I didn't expect to get choked up, but the minute I started speaking I could feel my throat closing up, so I spoke as quickly as I could to get through it. These boys had been rowdy, and apathetic, and hard to teach, but they were sweet. "You good teacher," "Don't go!" "I love you," they said as they lined up to leave. I was truly touched. I realized I would miss them, like all of my classes.
My students have helped to give me back my confidence. I had lost it somewhere along the way. Maybe it was in university, or maybe even before then. I feel like now I can go back home and really start my life. Before coming here, I don't know that I was really living. I think I was holding myself back, because I didn't feel good enough. I never thought I'd actually be grateful for the recession, but it gave me the push I needed to take a chance on myself and move to Korea. I'm happy to say it paid off.
Last Post?
This may be my last post from Korea. I'm glad I started this blog, even if it was late, because it has given me a chance to communicate my thoughts and feelings. It's been more helpful than I thought. I may start another blog when I get home. Look at me - I'm becoming a regular blogger! Who would have thunk it!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Visitors
This month has been more eventful than most. Three friends visited me from Vancouver. Their visit made me realize just how great my friends are. It was like having a piece of home with me for a few weeks. They also got a glimpse of my life, which may have been a tad disorienting to say the least. Life in Seoul is very different from life in Vancouver: it's fast-paced, it's non-stop, and it's chaotic. I tried my best to help with the language barrier, but of course I'm no expert. Let's just say it was entertaining. I was proud that they were able to handle themselves on their own, since I worked for most of the time. Despite my work schedule, we were able to have some memorable adventures.
The DMZ
The DMZ is a trip that none of us will soon forget. We went on May 22nd, after South Korea officially blamed North Korea for the sinking of the Cheonan, which killed 46 South Korean soldiers. We were expecting to receive an email that canceled the trip, but surprisingly we received no such message. Upon arriving at Camp Bonifas at the Joint Security Area, we were debriefed and were getting ready to go to the blue buildings where the North Korean soldiers are, when we were abruptly instructed to get back on the bus after we had stopped to visit the gift shop on the way. Soldiers came up to our bus and barked orders, which thoroughly freaked us all out. We continued with the tour and visited the third infiltration cave dug by North Korean soldiers, not knowing what was going on.
Things continued to get weird when we saw that the outdoor lookout area at Dora Observatory was blocked of for "construction" and there were guards blocking the doors to that area. We entered the building to look down at North Korean territory through a large glass window, and were surprised to see a long line of trucks leaving the Kaesong Industrial Region. Our tour guide looked puzzled and said that something was definitely going on. We later found out it was due to the announcement by Korean president Lee Myung Bak ordering all trade between North and South Korea be suspended.
Our final stop was Dorasan Station, which serves as a symbol of future reunification. It lay deserted, except for us eager tourists snapping shots. The station is meant to be a beacon of hope, but leaves one strangely sad. Private South Korean citizens built this station with the thought "If you build it, they will come," but no one has come. The political situation - as was very evident on that day - is only getting worse.
When we returned to Seoul, we decided to visit the Korean War Memorial Museum. The clouds were gray, and it had started raining. The Korean War room was moving with it's displays showing the ravaged condition of Korea during and following the war. We then entered a room dedicated to UN countries who fought or participated in some way during the war. The Canadian contribution display really got to me. It made me very proud and grateful that I'm Canadian. All three of us realized that we were incredibly lucky to live in a country where we don't have to constantly be in a state of fear or instability. Being at the DMZ and not knowing or being able to control what was happening was scary. It was a mild reminder of what Koreans must always be ready for.
The DMZ
The DMZ is a trip that none of us will soon forget. We went on May 22nd, after South Korea officially blamed North Korea for the sinking of the Cheonan, which killed 46 South Korean soldiers. We were expecting to receive an email that canceled the trip, but surprisingly we received no such message. Upon arriving at Camp Bonifas at the Joint Security Area, we were debriefed and were getting ready to go to the blue buildings where the North Korean soldiers are, when we were abruptly instructed to get back on the bus after we had stopped to visit the gift shop on the way. Soldiers came up to our bus and barked orders, which thoroughly freaked us all out. We continued with the tour and visited the third infiltration cave dug by North Korean soldiers, not knowing what was going on.
Things continued to get weird when we saw that the outdoor lookout area at Dora Observatory was blocked of for "construction" and there were guards blocking the doors to that area. We entered the building to look down at North Korean territory through a large glass window, and were surprised to see a long line of trucks leaving the Kaesong Industrial Region. Our tour guide looked puzzled and said that something was definitely going on. We later found out it was due to the announcement by Korean president Lee Myung Bak ordering all trade between North and South Korea be suspended.
Our final stop was Dorasan Station, which serves as a symbol of future reunification. It lay deserted, except for us eager tourists snapping shots. The station is meant to be a beacon of hope, but leaves one strangely sad. Private South Korean citizens built this station with the thought "If you build it, they will come," but no one has come. The political situation - as was very evident on that day - is only getting worse.
When we returned to Seoul, we decided to visit the Korean War Memorial Museum. The clouds were gray, and it had started raining. The Korean War room was moving with it's displays showing the ravaged condition of Korea during and following the war. We then entered a room dedicated to UN countries who fought or participated in some way during the war. The Canadian contribution display really got to me. It made me very proud and grateful that I'm Canadian. All three of us realized that we were incredibly lucky to live in a country where we don't have to constantly be in a state of fear or instability. Being at the DMZ and not knowing or being able to control what was happening was scary. It was a mild reminder of what Koreans must always be ready for.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Missing Home
I haven't written since February. It's not that I haven't thought about writing, but there hasn't been much to write about. I've continued teaching, and it's still challenging. I've been sick, and I survived. It was hard not having people to whine to, and generally being a big baby. Of course I miss home and my family and friends constantly, but when I was sick I especially felt it.
March was a difficult month. I was sick for 2 weeks, and basically stayed home most of the time. Maybe that's what sparked the homesickness, and general displeasure about being here. There are times when I have an intense desire for the familiar instead of the alien, which welcomes me every time I turn on the TV or leave my apartment. I know this is probably just a passing feeling; besides, I only have a few months left here anyway.
Hopefully I'll have more to write about next time, and it'll be more exciting stuff. My friends are coming over from Vancouver next month, so that's something to look forward to.
March was a difficult month. I was sick for 2 weeks, and basically stayed home most of the time. Maybe that's what sparked the homesickness, and general displeasure about being here. There are times when I have an intense desire for the familiar instead of the alien, which welcomes me every time I turn on the TV or leave my apartment. I know this is probably just a passing feeling; besides, I only have a few months left here anyway.
Hopefully I'll have more to write about next time, and it'll be more exciting stuff. My friends are coming over from Vancouver next month, so that's something to look forward to.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Hong Kong and Back
Hong Kong vs Seoul
Lunar New Year and Valentine's fell on the same day this year. I was in Hong Kong for the lead up to this dual holiday, and it was amazing. Hong Kong truly knows how to celebrate: lights everywhere, decorations up the wazoo, lycee money flowing freely. Coming back to Seoul, I was welcomed by a more subdued approach to celebrating, if that's possible. Seoul is eerily quiet as many people have gone to the countryside to visit relatives in their hometowns. This difference in approaches to celebration is mimicked in the skylines of both cities. Hong Kong is known for it's awe-inspiring skyline made of cloud-piercing skyscrapers, while Seoul has a less showy, almost dull, topography of unimposing medium-sized buildings that are almost indistinguishable from each other. While Hong Kong is a feast for the eyes, Seoul seems to call for restraint and practicality.
If we were going to talk about cities like they were people, I would say that Seoul was like me, and Hong Kong was like the cool people I never really dared to try to be friends with, because they were just too cool. I had an amazing time in Hong Kong, and if I could afford it, I would love to live there for a while, but it just seems out of reach like the heights of its giant buildings. It may seem like I'm painting Seoul in bad colors (which many may argue that it already, literally, is) but I identify more with Seoul than Hong Kong. It's comfortable, it's more my speed. But we all like to venture out of our comfort zones now and again.
Alone Again on Valentine's
Another year, another empty Valentine's mailbox. Remember the ones we used to make in elementary school? Well, I was the kid who got the pity cards, if any. Suffice it to say, I was a not a popular child. I guess it was a sign of things to come, because I seem to be incapable of forming any sort of romantic relationship. I know, boohoo. But I can't help but wallow in self-pity, since Valentine's Day invites single people to reflect on why exactly we are single. I'm 26 years old and I feel like this whole area of my life is a mental block. Like being single for my entire adult life has caused my relationship muscles to atrophy or something. You may be thinking that 26 is not old, and you're right, but I fear that I've become comfortable with being alone.
Then again, isn't that what we all strive for - being happy with who we are, independent of other people? Maybe all that we can hope for is that we can live with ourselves; that we can look in the mirror and say we like what we see. I'm not talking about outer appearance, but inner development. Instead of having a holiday celebrating "coupledom," we should have a holiday celebrating "selfdom". Maybe then there would be less insecure people out there in superficial relationships which eventually end badly, anyway. I know, I know, enough already. This is the end of my rant.
Lunar New Year and Valentine's fell on the same day this year. I was in Hong Kong for the lead up to this dual holiday, and it was amazing. Hong Kong truly knows how to celebrate: lights everywhere, decorations up the wazoo, lycee money flowing freely. Coming back to Seoul, I was welcomed by a more subdued approach to celebrating, if that's possible. Seoul is eerily quiet as many people have gone to the countryside to visit relatives in their hometowns. This difference in approaches to celebration is mimicked in the skylines of both cities. Hong Kong is known for it's awe-inspiring skyline made of cloud-piercing skyscrapers, while Seoul has a less showy, almost dull, topography of unimposing medium-sized buildings that are almost indistinguishable from each other. While Hong Kong is a feast for the eyes, Seoul seems to call for restraint and practicality.
If we were going to talk about cities like they were people, I would say that Seoul was like me, and Hong Kong was like the cool people I never really dared to try to be friends with, because they were just too cool. I had an amazing time in Hong Kong, and if I could afford it, I would love to live there for a while, but it just seems out of reach like the heights of its giant buildings. It may seem like I'm painting Seoul in bad colors (which many may argue that it already, literally, is) but I identify more with Seoul than Hong Kong. It's comfortable, it's more my speed. But we all like to venture out of our comfort zones now and again.
Alone Again on Valentine's
Another year, another empty Valentine's mailbox. Remember the ones we used to make in elementary school? Well, I was the kid who got the pity cards, if any. Suffice it to say, I was a not a popular child. I guess it was a sign of things to come, because I seem to be incapable of forming any sort of romantic relationship. I know, boohoo. But I can't help but wallow in self-pity, since Valentine's Day invites single people to reflect on why exactly we are single. I'm 26 years old and I feel like this whole area of my life is a mental block. Like being single for my entire adult life has caused my relationship muscles to atrophy or something. You may be thinking that 26 is not old, and you're right, but I fear that I've become comfortable with being alone.
Then again, isn't that what we all strive for - being happy with who we are, independent of other people? Maybe all that we can hope for is that we can live with ourselves; that we can look in the mirror and say we like what we see. I'm not talking about outer appearance, but inner development. Instead of having a holiday celebrating "coupledom," we should have a holiday celebrating "selfdom". Maybe then there would be less insecure people out there in superficial relationships which eventually end badly, anyway. I know, I know, enough already. This is the end of my rant.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Winter English Camp
For the past three weeks I've been teaching Winter English Camp. This week was the last week, and I was actually kind of sad to say goodbye to the students. I didn't expect the experience to be so great. I was actually dreading it, because I feared teaching alone. It turns out the kids were great, and I didn't need a Korean teacher there, at all. I had two classes with a maximum of 8 students in each class, but not all of the students showed up to every class. Of course, communication was difficult, at times, but not having a Korean teacher there to translate really forced the kids to try and communicate in English, which is the whole point.
I probably learned as much from the kids as they learned from me. I learned about Korean politics, social norms, and even about the students' personal lives. We talked, and talked...and talked, which is ideal for a conversation class. One student really sticks out to me, because of a conversation we had walking out of class. She told me her schedule, and I was nearly bowled over. I could not believe the list of places she had to go after camp. She said she wouldn't be home until 10 or 11pm (and this is supposed to be their break). Some students even trusted me enough to talk to me about their dating misadventures. These types of conversations really gave me an insight into their lives.
I wish my regular classes could be like camp, but with 11 classes of over 35 students per class, only twice a week, it's hard to achieve the same kind of success. I teach at a high school in a working-class neighbourhood, so most kids are, understandably, not concerned about their English conversation skills. They care more about what will help them earn money immediately after graduation. The neighbourhood is actually similar to the neighbourhood I grew up in, back home. A combination of class size and student apathy work to make the regular year especially difficult. Most days, I walk away from classes where students are unresponsive or even sleeping. But having done this camp, I can now be sure that there are some students in my classes who really do care, and are interested in improving their conversation skills.
Winter English Camp is exactly what I needed to re-energize for the rest of the year. I feel like I connected with a really great bunch of kids. I gained their trust, and actually taught them something. As a first-time teacher, I needed this experience to boost my confidence to continue during the regular year.
I probably learned as much from the kids as they learned from me. I learned about Korean politics, social norms, and even about the students' personal lives. We talked, and talked...and talked, which is ideal for a conversation class. One student really sticks out to me, because of a conversation we had walking out of class. She told me her schedule, and I was nearly bowled over. I could not believe the list of places she had to go after camp. She said she wouldn't be home until 10 or 11pm (and this is supposed to be their break). Some students even trusted me enough to talk to me about their dating misadventures. These types of conversations really gave me an insight into their lives.
I wish my regular classes could be like camp, but with 11 classes of over 35 students per class, only twice a week, it's hard to achieve the same kind of success. I teach at a high school in a working-class neighbourhood, so most kids are, understandably, not concerned about their English conversation skills. They care more about what will help them earn money immediately after graduation. The neighbourhood is actually similar to the neighbourhood I grew up in, back home. A combination of class size and student apathy work to make the regular year especially difficult. Most days, I walk away from classes where students are unresponsive or even sleeping. But having done this camp, I can now be sure that there are some students in my classes who really do care, and are interested in improving their conversation skills.
Winter English Camp is exactly what I needed to re-energize for the rest of the year. I feel like I connected with a really great bunch of kids. I gained their trust, and actually taught them something. As a first-time teacher, I needed this experience to boost my confidence to continue during the regular year.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Late Start
This is my first ever "blog". I never thought I'd do one, but over the last 6 months I've done many things that I never expected to do. For one, I moved to Seoul in August to teach English (It would have made sense to start writing a blog when I got here, but being an over-thinker, I took my time deciding if it was right for me). The title of this blog is "Better Late Than Never" not only because I started it later than I should have, but also because I feel like I'm really starting my life late. When I say that, I mean that I feel like I'm an active participant now, and not just a passive bystander. This blog is one way that I'm trying to be more active and present in my life.
Some Thoughts on Seoul
Seoul is a city full of energy. I feel like there is an ever-present atmosphere of change and movement. Things move so quickly around me, unlike back home in Vancouver where everyone seems to go about their lives at a more leisurely pace. Here, there is a constant rush to move forward. The students I teach are perpetually on the go to tutorials, "Academy", or some other extracurricular activity that will improve their chances of moving forward. Cars on the street pass by frenetically in a rush to get somewhere. People bustle past me in crowded streets to hurriedly catch buses and taxis, all to move forward to some unknown destination. This is symbolic of Korea's rise as a preeminent economic power in Asia; this never-ending desire to move forward. It inspires one to move forward, as well, but I think that it is also important to stop and smell the roses. This is a balance that Korea needs to strike: move forward, take chances, but stop long enough to truly understand where it's going.
Well, this is the end of my very first blog entry. Let's hope I have something interesting to write, soon.
Some Thoughts on Seoul
Seoul is a city full of energy. I feel like there is an ever-present atmosphere of change and movement. Things move so quickly around me, unlike back home in Vancouver where everyone seems to go about their lives at a more leisurely pace. Here, there is a constant rush to move forward. The students I teach are perpetually on the go to tutorials, "Academy", or some other extracurricular activity that will improve their chances of moving forward. Cars on the street pass by frenetically in a rush to get somewhere. People bustle past me in crowded streets to hurriedly catch buses and taxis, all to move forward to some unknown destination. This is symbolic of Korea's rise as a preeminent economic power in Asia; this never-ending desire to move forward. It inspires one to move forward, as well, but I think that it is also important to stop and smell the roses. This is a balance that Korea needs to strike: move forward, take chances, but stop long enough to truly understand where it's going.
Well, this is the end of my very first blog entry. Let's hope I have something interesting to write, soon.
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